Ladies and Gentleman, my mother told me that I should never brag. I'm just too happy to care about manners though. I've gotta tell you! I've now officially lost 19 lbs.!!! Crazy enough, it's been pretty easy this time too. I mean, considering the fact that I have been doing the diet & exercise thing for a LONG time without breaking my plateau... it's kind of weird that it's just melting off me now. I attribute the first several pounds to my new blood pressure medications. I'm pretty sure a good amount of the weight was water retention (it's pretty obvious since all of a sudden my wedding ring fits for the first time in 2 years and several people have commented that I look less "puffy".) By the way, does anyone know the proper response to that comment? I'm thinking it's a compliment and so I should just say thanks? It's a little awkward though.
"Wow. Your face looks a lot less puffy!"
"Umm..." sheepish smile, "Thanks... I guess I didn't really realize I was THAT puffy before."
"Oh. You were. You look a lot healthier now. Even your eyelids have lost weight."
Which explains something else... remember when Jen enlightened us on how she is a FATMG? Well, I clearly fit into the FAOG (Fat All Over Girl) category. In other words, my body distributes my fat so equally (my body is truly into making sure all body parts receive their fair share of blubber. It's a just and impartial system) that when I lose nearly 20 lbs., I'm still basically wearing the same size. It's just a teeny bit looser. While there are some other people who are able to drop 20 lbs. of pure belly fat and look like an entirely different person, when I lose 20 lbs. all of a sudden my eyelids aren't as puffy and my watch is a little too big. Yes, that's right. I still have belly fat but my WRIST lost 3/4 of an inch. Weird, I know. That's actually fine with me though since I really can't afford to go clothes shopping yet anyway. :-) So... with that in mind, I'm hoping that I can drop 40 more lbs. as effortlessly as this last 19 have vanished and hopefully be at my goal weight at tax return time so mama can get a new wardrobe!.
For now, I feel a lot better already. Which is way more worthwhile to me than looking good. If I cared more about the looking good part, I seriously doubt I would have let this weight thing get as bad as it did in the first place. I should have been a little more vain and binged and purged as soon as my jeans got too tight the first time like all the other hot chicks do (Just kidding. But seriously...) It would have probably been a lot easier than waiting for my blood pressure to sky rocket. The day that I went into the Doctor's office he looked at my age on the chart and said, "You're just a baby! You're too young to have these numbers." and I told him I may only be 29, but I feel like a car with well over 100,000 miles on it. That had never had an oil change. And I'm not talking about a Toyota. Those things can drive for forever! No, I felt more like a crappy old Chevy Nova that used to be cool but now the windows don't even roll down anymore and only AM stations come in (through an old metal coat hanger because someone ripped the antenna out a long time ago.) The good news, the drum roll request inducing news is... my blood pressure is WAY lower, my energy is WAY higher, and I think I may have upgraded to a different kind of used car. I mean, I don't feel like a brand new sports car or anything, but I may be in the certified pre-owned Corolla or Camry group now.
So, now that I've rambled on & on about my wrists losing 3/4 of an inch and used car analogies, here's the lowdown on what I did to break my plateau (in case you were wondering):
Disclaimer: I can neither confirm nor deny that any of these things will work for you. All I know is this is what I did differently this month and now I'm 19 lbs. lighter.
#1. I think finally getting on blood pressure medication was a huge part. I'm pretty sure my body was just under too much stress to lose weight before and once I gave it the medicine it needed to "take the pressure off" my fight or flight response was lessened and my body got the message that it wasn't in immediate danger and didn't actually have to try to save itself by storing every ounce of energy that went into it.
#2. I got paranoid. When the doctor told me that I needed to put the salt shaker down, I got offended because I NEVER add extra salt. Then, I realized that I didn't need to add salt because the "diet" foods that I was eating like frozen entrees and canned soup had more sodium than I was supposed to get per SERVING! I read the labels on absolutely everything & switched to whole foods when I couldn't find enough low calorie / low carb options that weren't low in sodium. Then, when I started feeling a LOT better from skipping the salty stuff I kicked the sugar problem. Once again, I thought I was eating mostly low calorie / low carb and wasn't pigging out on sugary desserts or eating white bread! However, a can of slim-fast has more sugar than I'm willing to put into my body anymore. Stinking diet foods...
#3. I exercised less. Crazy, right? First I tell you that I got rid of my diet foods and now I'm saying I exercised less. It's madness. When I first started on my new medications, I played the sick card and made good friends with the couch. Where before I would push myself to work out longer & harder, now I was kicking back on the couch reading every book in The Twilight Saga. I still squeezed in the occasional walk, but because I felt like it. When I didn't feel like it I didn't go. I realized something. Before, I was so tired that a lot of the time when I exercised it felt like I was running a triathlon with the flu. I was clenching my jaw in resentment as I exercised and ending up with a migraine after every workout. So, I rested and still lost weight.
#4. I got distracted. I volunteered all week at my kids' school doing the Book Fair. I had long phone conversations with good friends. I went shopping. I didn't notice I was hungry. I just felt happy & fulfilled. I realized that I eat when I'm bored, sad, stressed, lonely... so I made sure to avoid activities that left me feeling frustrated and got busy doing things that I loved.
#5. I convinced my family that losing weight was IMPORTANT since it was now officially on doctor's orders and I knew that they weren't letting me blow it. For once, my hubby didn't sabotage my diet by tempting me with my favorite treats or suggesting we go for ice cream like he has always done on every diet in the past. My kids were worried about my health and if I so much as popped a piece of their pizza crust in my mouth they were freaking out on me to take care of myself. Accountability and motivation are awesome. They weren't being greedy with their Halloween candy. They were trying to protect me. ;-)
#6. I overdosed on B-vitamins. I got the easily absorbable B-complex formula with something like 6,667% of Thiamine and 1,176% of Riboflavin, etc. You need B-vitamins to handle stress and in the past dieting has made me REALLY stressed (oddly not this time) and stress makes losing weight hard. See the cycle? Plus, B-vitamins are essential for turning the food you do eat into energy!
#7. I cheated. Then, I regretted it and knew it wasn't worth it. After two solid weeks of not putting an ounce of sugar into my body, I gave in and ate a slice of cheesecake just to "keep my metabolism on its toes". Within 20 minutes I had a HORRIBLE blinding migraine and I realized... I'd gone two weeks without a migraine. (A record for me lately.) All of a sudden cheating sounded scary. I hate those darn headaches and would do anything to avoid them! Bonus incentive right there!
So, that's that. 19 lbs. down. 40 to go. I'm a third of the way there!
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Holiday Strategy for the Battle of the Bathroom Scale
So, it's November - aka "The Most Critical Time of the Year." Well, for me and any of you hoping to hold steady (or maybe even gain some ground) in that annoying battle with the bathroom scale. At this time every year I put the battle strategy into play, and get ready to come out victorious on New Year's. And just so you know, this plan is geared ENTIRELY around eating Holiday food, and avoiding goody-deprivation at all holiday food gatherings.
And it never fails me.
Just thought some of you might be interested.
I really should have posted this right after Halloween - since I always get things started at the beginning of November - but I was too busy not thinking about Halloween candy to organize my thoughts... But better late then never, right?
So, the plan. The strategy. It all revolves around advanced planning and preemptive striking. In other words, lose now, gain later, and it all comes out in the wash.
I know, I know, you're thinking, "Like it's that easy to just 'lose now.' If I could do that I already would have. Duh." But just hear me out. This is all about mind power, and is totally doable. I swear. Why? What magic formula will make it easier to lose this time? Motivation. Hanging before you every day from now to Christmas, are all those goodies. The feasts. The cookies. The party foods and appetizers constituting a meals worth of calories in a single bite. All the foods you know you'll want to eat, and should be able to eat because it's Christmas. Do you really want to be the one at the party saying "Well, that hot, steamy, overly cheesy, completely delicious looking, and divine tasting artichoke dip looks great, but I'm really just into celery right now,"???
Trust me. You can do this. You can do anything for a couple of weeks and a big piece of guiltless-pumpkin-cheesecake, right?
So here's the goal. Lose at least two (solid, meaning more than just water weight) pounds before Thanksgiving, and then again before Christmas. And here's the plan to accomplish it.
1. Pick your most favorite eating time of the day and leave it alone (meaning, eat as usual, no suffering necessary). You love breakfast? Fine. Lunch? Fine. Dinner? Evening snack? No problem. All of them? Pick one. And no complaining - it won't work if you're not willing to suffer at least a tiny bit.
2. Look at your two remaining meals, and usual snacks, and start sacrificing. Cut them in half, substitute with healthy/low-fat/low-carb/low-sugar/smaller portion/or-what-ever-it-is-that-works-for-you meals, grit your teeth, think about your favorite holiday treat and how you will guiltlessly consume a second helping, and bear it.
3. Add an extra gimmick just to kick start things. For instance, this year mine is "turn down one thing every day." Sounds so small, but I've given up an ice cream sundae (with LOADS of toppings, all you can eat), brownies (the plural because you know I wouldn't have stopped at just one), pastries, my late-night handful of milk chocolate chips, and a few other things just this week. Other years I've ditched sweet-treats altogether, or eaten one salad a day - whatever. Just pick some small thing and be strict. No cheating allowed.
4. If you have a party to attend, eat light all day to make up for it. (And don't go totally overboard when you get there. It's not Christmas YET). If you have to make goodies, go ahead and have some, but set your limit before they're done, stick to it, and get them out of the house fast. If someone brings you treats, eat them. Then skip dinner. (Well, that's what I do, but I suppose I shouldn't try to sell you on such obviously not-healthy strategies. But it does work...)
5. Look in the mirror at least three times a day (no complaining, if you've read this blog before you TOTALLY knew this would be part of the plan) and tell yourself you're going to be a skinny babe by Christmas.
6. Exercise is extra-credit.
7. When the morning of the big day comes (first Thanksgiving, then Christmas), save your calories up. For instance, have an apple for breakfast. Eat a pile of lettuce for lunch.
8. At the actual event? Enjoy yourself. Eat up. Gain back those two pounds all in one sitting if you want - you earned it. (Or, not. Besides, like you can gain two pounds of actual fat in one sitting. I personally believe one meal never hurt anybody).
I would just like to bear my testimony that everyone should get to eat at Christmas dinner without "watching what they eat." I also believe that gorging on good food for the entire holiday season is going over the top, and should be considered a diet-sin. I know that every woman has at least four weeks of solid diet-self-control in her - especially when the reward is turkey gravy, Christmas croisants, and chocolate trifle. I also know that my little battle strategy works for me, and will work for anyone who undertakes it with real intent. Losing two pounds is really not an impossible task. And you'll thank yourself on New Year's. In the name of Holiday Food, amen.
And it never fails me.
Just thought some of you might be interested.
I really should have posted this right after Halloween - since I always get things started at the beginning of November - but I was too busy not thinking about Halloween candy to organize my thoughts... But better late then never, right?
So, the plan. The strategy. It all revolves around advanced planning and preemptive striking. In other words, lose now, gain later, and it all comes out in the wash.
I know, I know, you're thinking, "Like it's that easy to just 'lose now.' If I could do that I already would have. Duh." But just hear me out. This is all about mind power, and is totally doable. I swear. Why? What magic formula will make it easier to lose this time? Motivation. Hanging before you every day from now to Christmas, are all those goodies. The feasts. The cookies. The party foods and appetizers constituting a meals worth of calories in a single bite. All the foods you know you'll want to eat, and should be able to eat because it's Christmas. Do you really want to be the one at the party saying "Well, that hot, steamy, overly cheesy, completely delicious looking, and divine tasting artichoke dip looks great, but I'm really just into celery right now,"???
Trust me. You can do this. You can do anything for a couple of weeks and a big piece of guiltless-pumpkin-cheesecake, right?
So here's the goal. Lose at least two (solid, meaning more than just water weight) pounds before Thanksgiving, and then again before Christmas. And here's the plan to accomplish it.
1. Pick your most favorite eating time of the day and leave it alone (meaning, eat as usual, no suffering necessary). You love breakfast? Fine. Lunch? Fine. Dinner? Evening snack? No problem. All of them? Pick one. And no complaining - it won't work if you're not willing to suffer at least a tiny bit.
2. Look at your two remaining meals, and usual snacks, and start sacrificing. Cut them in half, substitute with healthy/low-fat/low-carb/low-sugar/smaller portion/or-what-ever-it-is-that-works-for-you meals, grit your teeth, think about your favorite holiday treat and how you will guiltlessly consume a second helping, and bear it.
3. Add an extra gimmick just to kick start things. For instance, this year mine is "turn down one thing every day." Sounds so small, but I've given up an ice cream sundae (with LOADS of toppings, all you can eat), brownies (the plural because you know I wouldn't have stopped at just one), pastries, my late-night handful of milk chocolate chips, and a few other things just this week. Other years I've ditched sweet-treats altogether, or eaten one salad a day - whatever. Just pick some small thing and be strict. No cheating allowed.
4. If you have a party to attend, eat light all day to make up for it. (And don't go totally overboard when you get there. It's not Christmas YET). If you have to make goodies, go ahead and have some, but set your limit before they're done, stick to it, and get them out of the house fast. If someone brings you treats, eat them. Then skip dinner. (Well, that's what I do, but I suppose I shouldn't try to sell you on such obviously not-healthy strategies. But it does work...)
5. Look in the mirror at least three times a day (no complaining, if you've read this blog before you TOTALLY knew this would be part of the plan) and tell yourself you're going to be a skinny babe by Christmas.
6. Exercise is extra-credit.
7. When the morning of the big day comes (first Thanksgiving, then Christmas), save your calories up. For instance, have an apple for breakfast. Eat a pile of lettuce for lunch.
8. At the actual event? Enjoy yourself. Eat up. Gain back those two pounds all in one sitting if you want - you earned it. (Or, not. Besides, like you can gain two pounds of actual fat in one sitting. I personally believe one meal never hurt anybody).
I would just like to bear my testimony that everyone should get to eat at Christmas dinner without "watching what they eat." I also believe that gorging on good food for the entire holiday season is going over the top, and should be considered a diet-sin. I know that every woman has at least four weeks of solid diet-self-control in her - especially when the reward is turkey gravy, Christmas croisants, and chocolate trifle. I also know that my little battle strategy works for me, and will work for anyone who undertakes it with real intent. Losing two pounds is really not an impossible task. And you'll thank yourself on New Year's. In the name of Holiday Food, amen.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
My Stupid Plan That I'm Regretting, Yet Kind Of Glad I Conceived
I'm all alone in my house (essentially - everyone else is sleeping), with hordes, and hordes of Halloween candy.
But it gets worse.
This morning, after breakfasting on several mini candy bars and a few Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I made a vow. I was standing at my sink doing dishes, and feeling rather candied-out for the moment (key word here would be "moment"). I was feeling strong. I was feeling optimistic. I was feeling like taking on an impossible task.
These dangerous emotions caused me to have the following conversation with myself:
Me: What am I going to do with all that candy around? I've already been eating chocolate and goodies for three days - one more day of junk food, and I'll be sorry.
Me: Well, fine then - I just won't eat anymore candy. Who cares if it's in the house, I can be strong.
Me: Oooo. That candy is going to last for days! Do you seriously think your willpower can outlast it? Snickers? Milkyway? Candy with both chocolate AND peanut butter? I don't know...
Me: Of course I can. I am totally in control here. I (momentarily) don't even WANT to eat anymore chocolate. Besides, the Lord wants me to be healthy.
Me: Bringing out the big guns, huh? The whole I'm-in-control-of-my-body-and-what-goes-into-it-so-I-can-withstand-any-stupid-old-craving argument?
Me: Yeah. That one.
Me: But aren't you a little scared? You know you could totally prove yourself to be weak and gluttonous on this one - it's like the perfect set-up for failure.
Me: (feeling VERY confident, strong, and momentarily candied-out) I can do this. Watch me. Not ONE SINGLE PIECE will pass these lips.
Me: You're on.
It was like making a pact with the devil. And you know what happens if you break those contracts... And I've totally committed myself. If I eat candy I lose.
I HATE LOSING! And there is GOOD candy around here!
So I'm looking for a little support. Is there anyone out there willing to join me? Willing to turn their back on chocolate and peanut butter so I won't feel so alone? Who will understand what I'm going through? Or who will at least sympathize and commiserate with me?
If so, I'll be forever grateful. And hopefully victorious. And that would also translate into not-gaining-back-those-irritating-four-pounds, which is ESSENTIAL heading into Thanksgiving/Christmas!
And now back to my house, all that candy, and an exercise in self-control. Wish me luck...
But it gets worse.
This morning, after breakfasting on several mini candy bars and a few Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, I made a vow. I was standing at my sink doing dishes, and feeling rather candied-out for the moment (key word here would be "moment"). I was feeling strong. I was feeling optimistic. I was feeling like taking on an impossible task.
These dangerous emotions caused me to have the following conversation with myself:
Me: What am I going to do with all that candy around? I've already been eating chocolate and goodies for three days - one more day of junk food, and I'll be sorry.
Me: Well, fine then - I just won't eat anymore candy. Who cares if it's in the house, I can be strong.
Me: Oooo. That candy is going to last for days! Do you seriously think your willpower can outlast it? Snickers? Milkyway? Candy with both chocolate AND peanut butter? I don't know...
Me: Of course I can. I am totally in control here. I (momentarily) don't even WANT to eat anymore chocolate. Besides, the Lord wants me to be healthy.
Me: Bringing out the big guns, huh? The whole I'm-in-control-of-my-body-and-what-goes-into-it-so-I-can-withstand-any-stupid-old-craving argument?
Me: Yeah. That one.
Me: But aren't you a little scared? You know you could totally prove yourself to be weak and gluttonous on this one - it's like the perfect set-up for failure.
Me: (feeling VERY confident, strong, and momentarily candied-out) I can do this. Watch me. Not ONE SINGLE PIECE will pass these lips.
Me: You're on.
It was like making a pact with the devil. And you know what happens if you break those contracts... And I've totally committed myself. If I eat candy I lose.
I HATE LOSING! And there is GOOD candy around here!
So I'm looking for a little support. Is there anyone out there willing to join me? Willing to turn their back on chocolate and peanut butter so I won't feel so alone? Who will understand what I'm going through? Or who will at least sympathize and commiserate with me?
If so, I'll be forever grateful. And hopefully victorious. And that would also translate into not-gaining-back-those-irritating-four-pounds, which is ESSENTIAL heading into Thanksgiving/Christmas!
And now back to my house, all that candy, and an exercise in self-control. Wish me luck...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Murderer of Carbs (Annie)
You made it! Yay you!
Last Sunday I started my day off with two cinnamon rolls and five cookies. The night before at a Halloween party I had five rice krispy peanut butter bars, four pumpkin cookies, a small snickers, one brownie, a bowl of chili, and seven desperate stalks of raw broccoli. The broccoli was my sad attempt to mix up the digestive process and keep things from melting into my bloodstream too fast.
To be honest, I haven't done this in about six months. I eat dessert when I want to, but it's always calculated and carefully consumed. Stuffing my face? 128 pounds is not conducive with this kind of eating. I was actually 131 yesterday, but 128 is THE WEIGHT. I saw it flash on the scale one morning three weeks ago and that was it, I was hooked. I do so much better when I have a slightly unreachable goal. If I'm always working on 128, 130 is easy to maintain.
To keep from eating the other six cookies in the zip lock bag last Sunday, I actually ran the bag full of tap water and drowned the cookies. It was my only escape. That's right, I am a cookie murderer. It's the price of skinny.
The thing is, we're all going to fall off, jump ship, or dig in. There is no eater out there who is immune to everything all the time. The key is knowing how to get a grip on the ladder and pull yourself back up. Ever notice how hard it is to get OUT of water? It's so easy to just float around all weightless. It's the hauling of the body back to dry land that painfully reminds us of the actuality of the situation. It's like stepping on the scale after a binge.
And so, here are a few of my tips for defying frosted, buttered, candied gravity.
1. Sugar free. When I'm freaking out about life and turn to chocolate, I go sugar free. It sounds so unappetizing but it's not. The Russel Stover's thin mints are great. They aren't quite good enough to binge on (and lend some serious bathroom time in case you do), but they're really strong flavored and hit the spot.
2. Water. I know, we all hear it all the time. I would die without my Jug. I have a 32 oz disgustingly thrashed jug that I fill up routinely throughout the day--especially at night. I had four pumpkin cupcakes for dinner tonight. I have washed them down with 1 1/2 jugs of ice water over the past few hours. And you know what? I don't feel one bit bad.
3. Drown it. As I mentioned with the cookies, I'm all about soaking, splashing, and drowning those beautiful tempting white carbs. If it's three o'clock and they're calling my name, I send those sirens back to the sea. That's right, I threw a beautiful cream cheese frosted chocolate chip pumpkin muffin straight into the soggy mixing bowl tonight. I am a murderer of carbs, people.
4. Stop talking about it already. You really want to see some results with your weight loss? When you have a set-back, don't verbalize it. Make a point of talking about how good you feel when you eat healthy, how much sugar screws with your body and how you can't stand the way it makes you feel. Don't talk about the water weight. Don't talk about the scale. Talk about the number you want to be and act like there's no such thing as a setback. This is a mind game. In it to win it or not, it's all about the things you say to yourself and everyone else. Like my old tap teacher used to say, "Fake it to make it."
That's it, I won't keep you here forever. If you ignore everything else I said, do this one little thing for me. The next time you walk by a mirror, stop an give yourself a big old smile, say out lout, "Man, I'm hot today!" and walk away.
Rinse and repeat.
Last Sunday I started my day off with two cinnamon rolls and five cookies. The night before at a Halloween party I had five rice krispy peanut butter bars, four pumpkin cookies, a small snickers, one brownie, a bowl of chili, and seven desperate stalks of raw broccoli. The broccoli was my sad attempt to mix up the digestive process and keep things from melting into my bloodstream too fast.
To be honest, I haven't done this in about six months. I eat dessert when I want to, but it's always calculated and carefully consumed. Stuffing my face? 128 pounds is not conducive with this kind of eating. I was actually 131 yesterday, but 128 is THE WEIGHT. I saw it flash on the scale one morning three weeks ago and that was it, I was hooked. I do so much better when I have a slightly unreachable goal. If I'm always working on 128, 130 is easy to maintain.
To keep from eating the other six cookies in the zip lock bag last Sunday, I actually ran the bag full of tap water and drowned the cookies. It was my only escape. That's right, I am a cookie murderer. It's the price of skinny.
The thing is, we're all going to fall off, jump ship, or dig in. There is no eater out there who is immune to everything all the time. The key is knowing how to get a grip on the ladder and pull yourself back up. Ever notice how hard it is to get OUT of water? It's so easy to just float around all weightless. It's the hauling of the body back to dry land that painfully reminds us of the actuality of the situation. It's like stepping on the scale after a binge.
And so, here are a few of my tips for defying frosted, buttered, candied gravity.
1. Sugar free. When I'm freaking out about life and turn to chocolate, I go sugar free. It sounds so unappetizing but it's not. The Russel Stover's thin mints are great. They aren't quite good enough to binge on (and lend some serious bathroom time in case you do), but they're really strong flavored and hit the spot.
2. Water. I know, we all hear it all the time. I would die without my Jug. I have a 32 oz disgustingly thrashed jug that I fill up routinely throughout the day--especially at night. I had four pumpkin cupcakes for dinner tonight. I have washed them down with 1 1/2 jugs of ice water over the past few hours. And you know what? I don't feel one bit bad.
3. Drown it. As I mentioned with the cookies, I'm all about soaking, splashing, and drowning those beautiful tempting white carbs. If it's three o'clock and they're calling my name, I send those sirens back to the sea. That's right, I threw a beautiful cream cheese frosted chocolate chip pumpkin muffin straight into the soggy mixing bowl tonight. I am a murderer of carbs, people.
4. Stop talking about it already. You really want to see some results with your weight loss? When you have a set-back, don't verbalize it. Make a point of talking about how good you feel when you eat healthy, how much sugar screws with your body and how you can't stand the way it makes you feel. Don't talk about the water weight. Don't talk about the scale. Talk about the number you want to be and act like there's no such thing as a setback. This is a mind game. In it to win it or not, it's all about the things you say to yourself and everyone else. Like my old tap teacher used to say, "Fake it to make it."
That's it, I won't keep you here forever. If you ignore everything else I said, do this one little thing for me. The next time you walk by a mirror, stop an give yourself a big old smile, say out lout, "Man, I'm hot today!" and walk away.
Rinse and repeat.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Doctors Make Me Cry
You know what's worse than having a "dressing room moment"? Having a doctor's office moment. Those are the worst. I had one today. He called me fat. Well... first he broke it to me by whispering "overweight". Guess what? I'm supposed to eat less & move more. Shocking, isn't it? I tried to convince him that I already knew that. I said, "I do that." and "I do that too."
Well, more specifically... he said, "You need to put the fork down. Just push yourself away from the table."
I said, "I barely use forks. I practically live on lite yogurt & slim-fast."
He looked sorta doubtful & said, "You need to exercise at least half an hour a day. Take walks."
I replied, "I've been walking several miles a day 4 or 5 days a week and using my elliptical while I watch TV."
He looked even more doubtful and said, "You need to put the salt shaker away and avoid sugars."
I pretty much just nodded because I was beginning to see that my self defense was futile. Have I told you that it was just recently that I even bought a stinking salt & pepper shaker so we could have it when we had guests over? I just don't use salt shakers AND I buy low sodium soup & stuff.
So, why? you ask, is my blood pressure so high? Like stroke territory high? I dunno! I went into the doctor for what I thought was an ear infection and left with an assortment of prescriptions, another appointment for more lab work tomorrow, and another appointment in two weeks to see if my new medication is working yet. This is going to be expensive. Oh yeah, and I don't even have insurance.
So, the moral of the story is this...
A. Don't get fat in the first place because it's not good for your health.
B. When you do get fat, have insurance in place because it's really expensive to treat all those health issues brought on by your fatness.
C. Go to a doctor that lies and tells you that you're beautiful and in great health if you can't handle the truth.
D. If you have a family history of heart problems, don't get fat or your doctor might have to tell you that your heart is too weak to carry your fat@$$ around. (His words, not mine.)
I mean, I know he means well and I'm honestly really glad that he's helping me get some medical stuff taken care of. I want to be healthy. I really do. It just kind of hurts your feelings when your doctor has to tell you that you're basically morbidly obese and won't live long at the rate you're going so you better work up more of a sweat and fast. It just sounds like something that happens to "other people". I know it sounds bad, but I REALLY hope that my lab work proves that there's a reason behind my expanding behind so I can say, "See? I told you I was trying. I mean, I started a flipping blog about it. Doesn't blogging burn calories?!"
Well, more specifically... he said, "You need to put the fork down. Just push yourself away from the table."
I said, "I barely use forks. I practically live on lite yogurt & slim-fast."
He looked sorta doubtful & said, "You need to exercise at least half an hour a day. Take walks."
I replied, "I've been walking several miles a day 4 or 5 days a week and using my elliptical while I watch TV."
He looked even more doubtful and said, "You need to put the salt shaker away and avoid sugars."
I pretty much just nodded because I was beginning to see that my self defense was futile. Have I told you that it was just recently that I even bought a stinking salt & pepper shaker so we could have it when we had guests over? I just don't use salt shakers AND I buy low sodium soup & stuff.
So, why? you ask, is my blood pressure so high? Like stroke territory high? I dunno! I went into the doctor for what I thought was an ear infection and left with an assortment of prescriptions, another appointment for more lab work tomorrow, and another appointment in two weeks to see if my new medication is working yet. This is going to be expensive. Oh yeah, and I don't even have insurance.
So, the moral of the story is this...
A. Don't get fat in the first place because it's not good for your health.
B. When you do get fat, have insurance in place because it's really expensive to treat all those health issues brought on by your fatness.
C. Go to a doctor that lies and tells you that you're beautiful and in great health if you can't handle the truth.
D. If you have a family history of heart problems, don't get fat or your doctor might have to tell you that your heart is too weak to carry your fat@$$ around. (His words, not mine.)
I mean, I know he means well and I'm honestly really glad that he's helping me get some medical stuff taken care of. I want to be healthy. I really do. It just kind of hurts your feelings when your doctor has to tell you that you're basically morbidly obese and won't live long at the rate you're going so you better work up more of a sweat and fast. It just sounds like something that happens to "other people". I know it sounds bad, but I REALLY hope that my lab work proves that there's a reason behind my expanding behind so I can say, "See? I told you I was trying. I mean, I started a flipping blog about it. Doesn't blogging burn calories?!"
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Adam vs. Eve
Boy, it was a toss up for what to write about today. I was sorely tempted to document my love-hate relationship with diet pills and how crazy they make me. It's been said that writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. That certainly holds true for writing while on diet pills. Woo-hee... I'd just like to say that while my heart may explode and I would love to be able to stop tapping my foot, my house has never been cleaner. That said, what I think I'm actually going to enlighten you on is something else that makes me equally crazy: the fact that my husband makes losing weight look so easy. Like sitting watching your favorite show easy. You see, here I am completely overhauling my life & sadly accepting the fact that there has to be at least some form of deprivation in order to lose the blubber. No pain no gain (or in this case loss) right?
This means that while I feed my family bagels with cream cheese for breakfast I make myself a killer slim-fast shake in the blender by pouring in tons of ice (excellent calorie free filler after all), 8 oz. light vanilla soy milk (because it has less calories than it's dairy counterpart), and a scoop of slim-fast (flavor varies since variety is the spice of life). I can totally handle skipping bagels. My shakes are actually not bad & are even more filling when I remember to add extra fiber by throwing in some flax seeds or some frozen berries. Of course, snacking is key to keeping your metabolism going strong and preventing binges, so I usually have a mid morning snack of Weight Watchers yogurt or a 100 calorie bag of smart pop popcorn while checking up on all my blogging friends. I also keep the fluids flowing with mason jars full of herbal tea or lemon water all day. Sometime between my mid morning snack and the kids coming home from school I nosh on a Lean Cuisine (but only the NON- pasta ones like roasted garlic chicken w/ spinach or salmon w/ broccoli stir-fry). I typically try to make the kids a yummy after school snack & it can be difficult to not dip my finger into the cookie dough, but I've found that I'm willing to sip some diet hot cocoa instead. I like the Swiss Miss sensible sweets line a lot. You have to be careful though since the calorie counts vary widely. I usually grab the stuff that comes in at 25 calories a cup & is fortified with calcium, but I've accidentally grabbed the 60 calorie stuff before too. Not cool. That 35 calories matters.
See, here's the part that the Adam vs. Eve thing gets frustrating. My DH isn't the type of guy who thinks 35 calories matters. In fact, he doesn't think about the calorie thing AT ALL. That doesn't stop him from dropping weight like a prisoner in a concentration camp though. I know that love isn't supposed to be selfish or jealous and that I should be happy for him. Blah, blah, blah... You know what I'm thinking when he says, "Hey Honey, can you hand me my belt? These pants are so loose they won't even stay up without a belt now" is that I want to throw myself on to the floor & throw a royal tantrum because it's NO FAIR! I told you what I eat. You know what he eats? He goes through the drive-thru at McDonald's for a nice artery clogging breakfast. He stops at the gas station & picks up pizza or egg rolls or BBQ beef burritos and a bag of chips. For dinner, while I'm "diluting" my dinner by adding extra veggies & carefully arranging my plate so that 3/4 of it has some sort of green leafy something or other, he is skipping the veggies all together & filling his entire plate with the main course & lots of bread. He doesn't drink water. The one thing that he has done to lose weight is switch from Mountain Dew to fruit punch Gatorade. That was only because he knows too many people who have had kidney stones from drinking too much pop. By my math, Gatorade still has WAY too many calories for me though.
So, what gives? I completely get the Slim-Quick commercials. Have you seen them? Designed to target the 6 ways women need help losing weight? Which is why I'm all hopped up on diet pills (could have been crack if I didn't know better.) So, if you see me on the street and I appear to be schizophrenic and you wonder why I'm talking so fast... that's it. I thought my body was so immune to the effects of caffeine that I could handle it, but alas the combo of caffeine, hoodia, ginseng, and ginkgo have proven too much for me. Not enough to make me stop taking them before I give it long enough to see if it works (please, please, please let it work.) Oh well, at least there's that my house has never been cleaner side effect. ;-)
This means that while I feed my family bagels with cream cheese for breakfast I make myself a killer slim-fast shake in the blender by pouring in tons of ice (excellent calorie free filler after all), 8 oz. light vanilla soy milk (because it has less calories than it's dairy counterpart), and a scoop of slim-fast (flavor varies since variety is the spice of life). I can totally handle skipping bagels. My shakes are actually not bad & are even more filling when I remember to add extra fiber by throwing in some flax seeds or some frozen berries. Of course, snacking is key to keeping your metabolism going strong and preventing binges, so I usually have a mid morning snack of Weight Watchers yogurt or a 100 calorie bag of smart pop popcorn while checking up on all my blogging friends. I also keep the fluids flowing with mason jars full of herbal tea or lemon water all day. Sometime between my mid morning snack and the kids coming home from school I nosh on a Lean Cuisine (but only the NON- pasta ones like roasted garlic chicken w/ spinach or salmon w/ broccoli stir-fry). I typically try to make the kids a yummy after school snack & it can be difficult to not dip my finger into the cookie dough, but I've found that I'm willing to sip some diet hot cocoa instead. I like the Swiss Miss sensible sweets line a lot. You have to be careful though since the calorie counts vary widely. I usually grab the stuff that comes in at 25 calories a cup & is fortified with calcium, but I've accidentally grabbed the 60 calorie stuff before too. Not cool. That 35 calories matters.
See, here's the part that the Adam vs. Eve thing gets frustrating. My DH isn't the type of guy who thinks 35 calories matters. In fact, he doesn't think about the calorie thing AT ALL. That doesn't stop him from dropping weight like a prisoner in a concentration camp though. I know that love isn't supposed to be selfish or jealous and that I should be happy for him. Blah, blah, blah... You know what I'm thinking when he says, "Hey Honey, can you hand me my belt? These pants are so loose they won't even stay up without a belt now" is that I want to throw myself on to the floor & throw a royal tantrum because it's NO FAIR! I told you what I eat. You know what he eats? He goes through the drive-thru at McDonald's for a nice artery clogging breakfast. He stops at the gas station & picks up pizza or egg rolls or BBQ beef burritos and a bag of chips. For dinner, while I'm "diluting" my dinner by adding extra veggies & carefully arranging my plate so that 3/4 of it has some sort of green leafy something or other, he is skipping the veggies all together & filling his entire plate with the main course & lots of bread. He doesn't drink water. The one thing that he has done to lose weight is switch from Mountain Dew to fruit punch Gatorade. That was only because he knows too many people who have had kidney stones from drinking too much pop. By my math, Gatorade still has WAY too many calories for me though.
So, what gives? I completely get the Slim-Quick commercials. Have you seen them? Designed to target the 6 ways women need help losing weight? Which is why I'm all hopped up on diet pills (could have been crack if I didn't know better.) So, if you see me on the street and I appear to be schizophrenic and you wonder why I'm talking so fast... that's it. I thought my body was so immune to the effects of caffeine that I could handle it, but alas the combo of caffeine, hoodia, ginseng, and ginkgo have proven too much for me. Not enough to make me stop taking them before I give it long enough to see if it works (please, please, please let it work.) Oh well, at least there's that my house has never been cleaner side effect. ;-)
Saturday, October 18, 2008
The Bumpy Wagon-Ride of my Weightloss Goals
I fell off the skinny-pants wagon. I know, I know, it's only been like a week - WHAT AM I DOING!!! Silly question. I can tell you exactly what I've been doing. E.A.T.I.N.G. I believe I am a victim of overconfidence, and I have totally been neglecting my positive self-talk about what a babe I am, and how my body really does want to weigh 136 lbs. (I've decided that would be my perfect number. The new target weight zone is 136-140, but I think that's as far as I want to go, so please don't worry that I'll get so caught up in losing weight that I'll have to be rescued when I dip below 95 lbs. This could not happen. I love food way too much).
My other problem is that I'm currently in a popcorn slump. My go-to lunch (with something healthy added to it - I'm not on a popcorn starvation diet) just isn't doing anything for me all of the sudden. This is not the first time this has happened, but it always poses the same issues.
Popcorn is something I love (usually), and actually crave. Being able to eat something I consider a big treat everyday for lunch (and bedtime snack half the time) totally saves my diet. I never feel like I'm depriving myself, and look forward to my healthy little, calorie/fat saving lunch. Take away that option (because it doesn't do anything for me if I don't enjoy it - I've never been able to eat things I didn't like just because I should) and I spend all day long chasing my fix.
I ate leftover pasta (like A LOT of left over pasta) for lunch two days in a row. One of those days I think I also ate some for breakfast.
I've eaten out twice.
There's been cookies, cheesecake, and a girls' night that I really can't even go into.
It's time to get things back under control here, because I made that little vow about holding steady and exercising self-control, and I've been totally blowing it.
Like a 5-lb-weight-gain-by-next-week-if-I-don't-get-a-grip kind of blowing it.
And while I'm on the subject, I view self-control regarding food as a gospel principle. I mean overcoming the natural man actually means overcoming our physical appetites, right? Isn't food the biggest, most constant appetite of them all? Shouldn't I be able to control my need for bad-but-oh-so-good food to some extent??? How often do you see an obese general authority? I don't know, I can't back this up with scripture, and you can call me a radical, but to me it just makes sense.
So as of this moment, I am getting a firm grip. No sweets this week (believe me, I had my share these past few days), and a substitute for my popcorn must be found. Sometimes tomato sandwiches do the trick, we'll see if they tempt me tomorrow. Maybe if I throw on cucumbers and a teensy bit of cheese? It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it soothes the savage beast that is my appetite demanding food I actually like, and is healthy at the same time.
I'm feeling more in control already. I love a plan. I'm all over it, and the 136 is my lucky number once more!
My other problem is that I'm currently in a popcorn slump. My go-to lunch (with something healthy added to it - I'm not on a popcorn starvation diet) just isn't doing anything for me all of the sudden. This is not the first time this has happened, but it always poses the same issues.
Popcorn is something I love (usually), and actually crave. Being able to eat something I consider a big treat everyday for lunch (and bedtime snack half the time) totally saves my diet. I never feel like I'm depriving myself, and look forward to my healthy little, calorie/fat saving lunch. Take away that option (because it doesn't do anything for me if I don't enjoy it - I've never been able to eat things I didn't like just because I should) and I spend all day long chasing my fix.
I ate leftover pasta (like A LOT of left over pasta) for lunch two days in a row. One of those days I think I also ate some for breakfast.
I've eaten out twice.
There's been cookies, cheesecake, and a girls' night that I really can't even go into.
It's time to get things back under control here, because I made that little vow about holding steady and exercising self-control, and I've been totally blowing it.
Like a 5-lb-weight-gain-by-next-week-if-I-don't-get-a-grip kind of blowing it.
And while I'm on the subject, I view self-control regarding food as a gospel principle. I mean overcoming the natural man actually means overcoming our physical appetites, right? Isn't food the biggest, most constant appetite of them all? Shouldn't I be able to control my need for bad-but-oh-so-good food to some extent??? How often do you see an obese general authority? I don't know, I can't back this up with scripture, and you can call me a radical, but to me it just makes sense.
So as of this moment, I am getting a firm grip. No sweets this week (believe me, I had my share these past few days), and a substitute for my popcorn must be found. Sometimes tomato sandwiches do the trick, we'll see if they tempt me tomorrow. Maybe if I throw on cucumbers and a teensy bit of cheese? It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it soothes the savage beast that is my appetite demanding food I actually like, and is healthy at the same time.
I'm feeling more in control already. I love a plan. I'm all over it, and the 136 is my lucky number once more!
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