Doctors Make Me Cry

You know what's worse than having a "dressing room moment"? Having a doctor's office moment. Those are the worst. I had one today. He called me fat. Well... first he broke it to me by whispering "overweight". Guess what? I'm supposed to eat less & move more. Shocking, isn't it? I tried to convince him that I already knew that. I said, "I do that." and "I do that too."

Well, more specifically... he said, "You need to put the fork down. Just push yourself away from the table."

I said, "I barely use forks. I practically live on lite yogurt & slim-fast."

He looked sorta doubtful & said, "You need to exercise at least half an hour a day. Take walks."

I replied, "I've been walking several miles a day 4 or 5 days a week and using my elliptical while I watch TV."

He looked even more doubtful and said, "You need to put the salt shaker away and avoid sugars."

I pretty much just nodded because I was beginning to see that my self defense was futile. Have I told you that it was just recently that I even bought a stinking salt & pepper shaker so we could have it when we had guests over? I just don't use salt shakers AND I buy low sodium soup & stuff.

So, why? you ask, is my blood pressure so high? Like stroke territory high? I dunno! I went into the doctor for what I thought was an ear infection and left with an assortment of prescriptions, another appointment for more lab work tomorrow, and another appointment in two weeks to see if my new medication is working yet. This is going to be expensive. Oh yeah, and I don't even have insurance.

So, the moral of the story is this...

A. Don't get fat in the first place because it's not good for your health.

B. When you do get fat, have insurance in place because it's really expensive to treat all those health issues brought on by your fatness.

C. Go to a doctor that lies and tells you that you're beautiful and in great health if you can't handle the truth.

D. If you have a family history of heart problems, don't get fat or your doctor might have to tell you that your heart is too weak to carry your fat@$$ around. (His words, not mine.)

I mean, I know he means well and I'm honestly really glad that he's helping me get some medical stuff taken care of. I want to be healthy. I really do. It just kind of hurts your feelings when your doctor has to tell you that you're basically morbidly obese and won't live long at the rate you're going so you better work up more of a sweat and fast. It just sounds like something that happens to "other people". I know it sounds bad, but I REALLY hope that my lab work proves that there's a reason behind my expanding behind so I can say, "See? I told you I was trying. I mean, I started a flipping blog about it. Doesn't blogging burn calories?!"