Jen Weighs In

Hey Natalie! Thanks for inviting me to post on your blog. I could just call you and find out exactly what you want from me - but wouldn't that be too easy? Instead, I'll just post something and find out later if it's what you were looking for. Is that bad?

Anyway, here we go.

First off, I need to come clean right now. No matter how skinny I get I will never look good in skinny pants. That is, if by skinny you're referring to the "skinny jeans" otherwise known as "tight, stretchy, tapered jeans." I know I have skinny legs. Everyone knows I have skinny legs. All skinny pants do to me is showcase the non-skinny-ness of the part above my skinny legs. Yes, I also know that on me this not-so-skinny part isn't that not-skinny. (Is the word skinny beginning to look strange to anyone else? And is anyone else getting confused by this?)

What I'm trying to say is this. Everyone has their bad spot. Mine is my mid-section. It isn't too bad - in fact, it's pretty easily camouflaged by the right clothes. This doesn't mean I wouldn't be totally exposed in the wrong clothes - like skinny jeans. I swear that even if I ever lose this last seven pounds (which I will because of my new "method") skinny jeans will always make me look like a carrot with a flat butt. I hate skinny jeans.

On another note entirely, I lost three of those stupid four pounds this week! You're thinking: Four? I thought she said she had seven? Let me clarify. I have zones. Right now I'm in my just-a-little-too-much-to-effectively-hide zone, i.e. 142-146 lbs. (Are we supposed to use numbers here? Because I just did. Maybe I should have made that call? What the heck. Now you all know my weight, oh well.) The four pound mark will put me into the 140-144 lb just-skinny-enough-to-get-away-with-most-of-the-clothes-in-my-closet zone. I have been shooting for this stupid zone since the birth of my fourth child two years ago. There have been some brief forays. They were too brief. Probably because of my love affair with food. Regardless of this, I have continued to buy clothing compatible only with this zone. You think I'd learn eventually.

Anyhow, back to my zones (if there is anyone still reading this post). The elusive seven pound goal (which was a ten pound goal until this morning) puts me into the I-can-wear-whatever-the-heck-I-want, and the haven't-been-there-since-before-child-number-three zone. Can I just say I am on my way? Thanks to my new method? I'd write about it now, but I fear this rambling, random post is already long enough.

Thanks again for the invite Natalie! (And I hope you aren't regretting that decision...)