Ever since the season finale of The Biggest Loser I have had this errant thought plaguing my brain: I want to audition. I think that idea popped into my head about the same time as my hubby commented, "Wow, some of them turned out really hot. Who knew they could end up looking so good when you saw them before?" It bothered me just a smidgen. I said, "Well, I could look that good too if I had all of the resources they've had. Of course NBC gives them a total makeover so that the results are sensationalized for better TV... They probably wouldn't even look that good if they had lost the same amount of weight at home on their own..." I went on like that for awhile sporadically spewing out defensive excuses for why their improved appearance wasn't anything special (read: anything that I couldn't do.)
Finally, I admitted the truth. I CAN'T do it at home as well as they can on TV. At home, I cheat. I take my sweet time. I make excuses for why I'll binge today and make up for it tomorrow. I can guarantee that if I were stripping down and getting weighed in wearing those pathetically small little outfits on national television I'd be busting my butt a lot harder than I am now. At home, I have to fix food for my family. I think about going out for a walk and then look out the window at the weather and cuddle up with my hubby to watch a movie instead. I could really use the combination of accountability and guidance and competition that The Biggest Loser provides. I started rationalizing how it would be so worth it that I would be okay with "abandoning" my family so I could go to fat camp.
That's when I broke the news to my hubby. I told him that I'd looked it up online and they were auditioning for next season right now and I was sending in a video tape. Do you know what he did? He laughed. That's right, he laughed at me! I guess I should take it as a compliment that he doesn't think I'm fat enough to make the cut, but I was ticked off. How dare he tell me that I don't have the stuff? (The stuff being lard.) He pointed out that you win based on the percentage of weight lost and some of those people are bringing enough weight to make up a whole other person. So, they could lose 50% of themselves. If I lost 50% of myself I would make Mary Kate Olson look chubby, so that's out. He asked me what the point of going through that would be if I didn't have a chance of winning? True Dat. I want to be THEE biggest loser, not one of a bunch of losers.
So, I suppose I won't send my tape in. I suppose that I'm just gonna have to go it alone & start January off with the New Year's resolution to eat less & move more like 75% of America (same ole, same ole...) I was really digging the idea of an all expenses paid trip to fat camp too.