The Dieting Evils of a Seemingly Harmless Christmas Tradition

I went to a cookie exchange the other day. It was fun. Socially speaking. On the trying-to-stay-skinny-through-the-holidays front, however, it was disastrous. Possibly the single most disastrous event in the history of December dieting. Girls like me should never put themselves in the path of such temptation - we should know better.

The idea of a cookie exchange, is rather brilliant. Rather than one woman making dozens and dozens of different kinds of cookies to give away during the holidays, a bunch of women make dozens and dozens of one kind of cookie, go to a party, and exchange cookies. At this particular cookie exchange, we each brought twelve dozen - i.e. one hundred and forty-four individual - cookies.

Which means we each left with twelve dozen - i.e. one hundred and forty-four individual - cookies. To give away. Right.

I swear my intentions are honorable. Really - I always tell myself that this year will be different, and I'll actually give away all those cookies. But then I go to the party and SEE them. And SMELL them. And TASTE them.

Then I start plotting out ways to keep my family from knowing the cookies are in the house so I can eat every single one-hundred-and-forty-fourth one myself. It's like a cookie-eating sickness. And I contract it every year.

This year was bad. The level of badness is directly related to the scrumptiousness of the cookies presented at the cookie exchange. Can I just say that this year there were FOUR different varieties of chocolate peanut butter cookies? And carmelitas - made by two different people, meaning that I took home two dozen of them?

It was seriously way to much to ask of me. I tried to think of someone to give at least some of the cookies away to, but every time I started thinking about it, it was like I had a stupor of thought. The kind of stupor that immediately switched over to thoughts of carmelitas and peanut butter chocolate bars, and how good they were going to taste when I ate them. And then I'd go have a couple. Of each.

Thankfully, I was unable to keep my family in the dark about the cookies, so I was forced to share. For two nights we brought the cookie platter out for dessert, and during both days, I even gave out a few of the ones lower on the I-must-eat-you-or-die list to my cookie-loving children.

I ate the last two cookies for breakfast this morning. Thank goodness they're gone and I can get on with my life - now that all my jeans are suddenly feeling a little bit tighter. Good thing I don't believe my body could possibly have transferred ALL that directly into fat, or I'd be in trouble. I LOOK fatter, and I FEEL fatter, but I'm convinced that if I can just live (primarily) off of the cookie-calories I've stored up for the next few days, I should be fine. It's got to be mostly water weight anyway, right?

And I'm not eating a single Christmas treat of ANY kind until our families actual Christmas dinner. And (aside from issuing a warning against cookie exchanges to all women with zero self control like myself), that is what this post is primarily about. I have now declared to the world that I will abstain from goodies, and so I'll have to do it. And hopefully, if I'm super good, I'll find all that cookie-fat gone the next time I brave the bathroom scale.

Wish me luck!

The Bumpy Wagon-Ride of my Weightloss Goals

I fell off the skinny-pants wagon. I know, I know, it's only been like a week - WHAT AM I DOING!!! Silly question. I can tell you exactly what I've been doing. E.A.T.I.N.G. I believe I am a victim of overconfidence, and I have totally been neglecting my positive self-talk about what a babe I am, and how my body really does want to weigh 136 lbs. (I've decided that would be my perfect number. The new target weight zone is 136-140, but I think that's as far as I want to go, so please don't worry that I'll get so caught up in losing weight that I'll have to be rescued when I dip below 95 lbs. This could not happen. I love food way too much).

My other problem is that I'm currently in a popcorn slump. My go-to lunch (with something healthy added to it - I'm not on a popcorn starvation diet) just isn't doing anything for me all of the sudden. This is not the first time this has happened, but it always poses the same issues.

Popcorn is something I love (usually), and actually crave. Being able to eat something I consider a big treat everyday for lunch (and bedtime snack half the time) totally saves my diet. I never feel like I'm depriving myself, and look forward to my healthy little, calorie/fat saving lunch. Take away that option (because it doesn't do anything for me if I don't enjoy it - I've never been able to eat things I didn't like just because I should) and I spend all day long chasing my fix.

I ate leftover pasta (like A LOT of left over pasta) for lunch two days in a row. One of those days I think I also ate some for breakfast.

I've eaten out twice.

There's been cookies, cheesecake, and a girls' night that I really can't even go into.

It's time to get things back under control here, because I made that little vow about holding steady and exercising self-control, and I've been totally blowing it.

Like a 5-lb-weight-gain-by-next-week-if-I-don't-get-a-grip kind of blowing it.

And while I'm on the subject, I view self-control regarding food as a gospel principle. I mean overcoming the natural man actually means overcoming our physical appetites, right? Isn't food the biggest, most constant appetite of them all? Shouldn't I be able to control my need for bad-but-oh-so-good food to some extent??? How often do you see an obese general authority? I don't know, I can't back this up with scripture, and you can call me a radical, but to me it just makes sense.

So as of this moment, I am getting a firm grip. No sweets this week (believe me, I had my share these past few days), and a substitute for my popcorn must be found. Sometimes tomato sandwiches do the trick, we'll see if they tempt me tomorrow. Maybe if I throw on cucumbers and a teensy bit of cheese? It really doesn't matter what it is as long as it soothes the savage beast that is my appetite demanding food I actually like, and is healthy at the same time.

I'm feeling more in control already. I love a plan. I'm all over it, and the 136 is my lucky number once more!

Sweet Victory!

I am proud to announce that today was a good day. The siege is officially back on, and I can feel those little breath-holding fat cells withering away with the effort even as we speak. I also have to say that knowing I was committed to writing this post really helped the war effort. My day went something like this:

Breakfast - a meal I usually don't want, but force myself to eat because "they" say you should. On this particular day, things were so hectic as I tried to get my little kids settled so I could do school drop-off and go to work, I almost forgot breakfast entirely. Then, at the last possible second I remembered that all important meal and grabbed a Weight Watchers 1 point yogurt out of the fridge, courtesy of Wal-mart yesterday. It wasn't bad. It also wasn't very filling.

Lunch - thanks to the accountability brought on by this post, I cast away all evil thoughts of pizza, and confined myself to a SMALL chicken salad, (did I mention that is was really, really small?) and a bag of light popcorn.

Snack - my babysitter made cookies, and I had three. The only three that were left. You may think I should have abstained, (or not eaten all three), but when you consider that I didn't bake a whole other batch so I could eat my usual baker's dozen, you are bound to be proud of me. Again, thank you accountability.

Dinner - a couple of baked burritos and a few bites of corn. And then another burrito left on someones plate. I love baked burritos. I could probably eat a baker's dozen of these too, so this also was a victory.

And now it is time for bed, and I will not be eating anything else today. It feels so good to be back on track (yes, this is a pretty typical food day for me), and by the end of the week I should be feeling good enough for some kind of sweet reward.

But not an entire bag of oreos eaten in under two hours. The desired weight zone has to be COMPLETELY official before I take those kind of risks. And do I really do that?

You betcha. What would life be without the occasional oreo binge? I know mine would be an empty, lonely, sorry place. So. Three weeks from now, the siege should be over, the zone official, and the oreos on the menu.

Wish me luck!!

Brutal Honesty

Welcome! Welcome! I plan on using this sight to publically track my weight loss journey. It will probably be rather boring to everyone but me. Who really wants to know what I ate for breakfast, you know? I need the accountability though. I found this neat diet & exercise journal online and am going to HONESTLY type in every little thing that I eat and every bit of exercise (or lack thereof.) I think it's so cool to be able to visually see my calories consumed / calories burned graphed out. And yes, if I screw up and eat a pint of Ben & Jerry's I WILL be putting that on here too and you can feel free to beat me up about it. I'd also like to keep this blog open so anyone can post their healthy recipes / favorite workouts, etc. It's not ALL about me. I'd love to hear about other people's successes & struggles (and secrets if you're willing to share them. ;-)